Top 10 Beers to Convert a Non-beer-liever.

Ah, the brilliant beast that is beer. Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys of legal drinking age, there has been a great injustice. Beer has been misunderstood, by hundreds, probably thousands.

Ask the person who just squeaked “Eww, beer.” what they think beer is. It’s that disgusting yellow fizzy drink consumed by middle-aged men while watching football because of the unwritten Australian law which states they must or be expelled from blokedom, isn’t it? Take a knee kids, I’m about to blow your mind.

Your standard I Hate Beer Club card holder loosely has a story where their first taste of beer was a big corporation lager and it tasted roughly like the swill left after someone’s done cleaning out the kitty litter box. Then they bravely gave a different brew from another big familiar logo a go, and just like that they were done with beer before a decent one had ever touched their lips.

In my early drinking years I didn’t know there were different kinds of beer beyond what was lined up on the typically heavily commercial bar. So, Dear Anyone who hasn't been clued in yet; You know how there are white wines and red wines, and of those types of wine there are different styles, like Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, Shiraz and so forth? Beer is just like that. 

Beer is a magnificently diverse being that can take you through all the flavour sensations. There are many different types of beer, many more different styles of beer, and hundreds of breweries making all those types and styles in their own way which results in literally thousands of different tasting beers. There's a style called Kriek that tastes like cherry, there are stouts that taste like chocolate and coffee, picking pot luck at the beer wall could see you drinking one that tastes like whiskey followed by one that tastes like waffles. 

Beer is an adventure. The rumours aren’t true. You aren’t supposed to acquire a taste for beer. There is no need to compromise when there are so many out there, just keep hunting until you find the one… or the several.

Those Hogwarts kids sure loved their (what I hope was 

non-alcoholic) butter beer. Fun fact, Saison’s (farmhouse ale) 

arose as a solution to make dirty farm water drinkable, 

and children commonly drank it. Hooray for kids beer! 

Disclaimer: Not actually kids beer.

Full disclosure, I am not a beer fanatic. There’s no denying for me that beer sitting on the “So terrible I've literally run for mouthwash” side of the beer spectrum is a real and ever-present evil. But I have tried literally hundreds of different beers. I've liked about 20 of them enough to deliberately buy again, and those few are enough to have completely changed my perspective of beer.

I don’t blame anyone for joining the I Hate Beer Club when the actual variety of beer is evidently some kind of huge secret, so here are some examples in different styles, with different tastes, from different breweries to try out. If you exhaust this list and still utterly detest beer, it really may not be the drink for you, but at least you’ll really know, because you’ll finally have really tried it. 

So, without further ado, here is my gateway beer list for the beer nose-upscruncher.

Top 10 Beers to Convert a Non-beer-liever.

ONE 

Lambic – Belgian fruit beer: Lindemans' Framboise (Raspberry).

First thing’s first. Belgian fruit beers. Lindemans or Liefmans will both be sitting in your local bottle shop. I take a lot of delight in big juicy raspberry flavours. Liefmans frambozenbier and Lindemans frambois were responsible for having me thrown out of the I Hate Beer Club and kicked in the pants for ever daring call myself a member. 

If raspberry isn’t your thing, Lindemans also make Kriek (sour cherry), Pêcheresse (peach), Cassis (blackcurrant), and Pomme (apple). Liefmans are now unfortunately only producing Kreiks and Fruitesse (mixed berry). If you happen to find you like this style, Delirium's product line Floris includes apple, cherry, raspberry fruit beers, also offering strawberry, mango, and passionfruit. While on the topic of Floris the product line also sports a honey beer (like a mead) and a chocolate beer, (literally chocolate beer).

TWO

Stout – Imperial Stout: Emelisse Bierbrouwerij's  Crème Brûlée

Part of their Innovation series, this chocolate and vanilla stout has a finish like a custard pudding. It takes a little caramel and citrus from the hops and the crème brûlée flavouring from the malt. The character that immediately grips is the aroma. It absorbs you and is already bathing your senses in the delights of caramel desserts before it's even hit your tongue. If you're not up for caramel, Emielisse also do an espresso version.

Don't let the blackness of the drink scare you away. Most won’t start their beer exploration with dark beers because the assumption is that it's the hard stuff for serious beer drinkers. It’s just a more full bodied big flavoured kind of beast you won't know you like unless you try. One to check off the experiences list.

THREE

Lager – Pale Lager: Akasha's Tradewind Lager 

You may have heard of a pale lager going by the name of VB. This is not like VB.

Now, I don't like lagers; the type is generally rated around 2.5/5 on Untappd so a lot of people recognise there are just better breeds of beer around, but I thought lager ought to be represented. Actual lager, not the stuff on the pub floor. Why this one from Akasha? A 3.7 on Untappd and the fact they've almost made pale lager interesting. There's a passion fruit twist and they've managed to cut out that usual violent bitterness. Tradewind Lager is available across Sydney on tap and easy to find but if you can, go to the brewery and have it fresh. Be warned though, intrepid beer explorer, it is a beery beer. Some folks at home are thinking this little number sticks out like a sore thumb on the list, and they'd be right. It's here because it's a lager that it hasn't been my first impulse to spit it out. I really wanted to put in an example of how even lager can have redeeming qualities for people who do just not like the taste of beer.

FOUR

Belgian Ale - Abby Dubbel: Chimay's Premiere (or Chimay Red)

A copper coloured delight that, heads up, will heads up (Get it? No? It'll froth up like crazy so pour it gracefully!). Gently spiced in that dried fruits way with notes of toffee biscuit hanging about.

Belgian ale dubbels and tripels are really good for those who just hate the bitterness of hops. It's a breed that is wonderfully inoffensive.

FIVE

American Pale Ale - Chili Beer: Shenanigans' Hoppy Gonzalez 

It’s called hoppy, but they’ve added what I imagine were literal buckets of jalapeño in the brewing process, so you don’t get a lot of hop. It's a spicy jalapeño beer with a citrus tang.
Like hot sauce? Get this jalapeño business.

SIX

Wheat Beer - Berlinner Weisse (Sour wheat beer): Wayward Brewing’s Sour Puss Raspberry

Low in IBU (international bittering units) so it’s not very bitter, although it is tart. I’ve had mates drink 10 of these refreshing pink drinks at a time because it’s only 3.2% ABV and is so tasty. 

Wheat beers in general carry a lot of flavour, so they can be a bit intimidating to the new palate. Go in prepared for the big and loud.

SEVEN

Saison (farmhouse ale): Deschutes' Zarabanda

Deschutes weren’t happy with just making a ‘good’ beer, so they hired a chef named Jose Andres who concocted a recipe which includes lemon verbena, pink peppercorn, sumac, and dried limes. They went the whole hog "Let’s get a Michelin star for this, only like, the beer version. Is there a beer version? Let's make one." kind of deal. It's being called the Spanish take on saison, tart with a zesty punch of lemon and so light it just vanishes down.

[This replaces my previous 'recommend to a friend saison' Sophie which was bought up by Heineken. It may be worth giving a go, but I haven't sought it out since the buy-out because they have a bad reputation for messing with recipes and I want to remember my sweet beloved the way she was in her prime.]

EIGHT

Gimmick Beer: Rogue's Voodoo Donut Lemon Chello

Some love a lemon liquor. If you’re one of them, this may be the end of your hunt for a favourite beer.

Okay, yes, I made that type “Gimmick beer” up, but it really should be its own thing. They are unique crazy beers that borrow from any and all beer styles, so some are even quite confusing to place and Rogue are a master at them. This one falls under the fruit/vegetable ale bracket and is a type of fruit beer because of the lemon base. But the lemon taste is more lemon icing, with marshmallows, biscuit, and sort of buttery vanilla donut.

Rogue got the name of this product line from the day it all started, when they were out eating donuts and thought ‘what if a beer tasted like this?’. They now make an extremely unique selection of beers including Bacon Maple Ale  (it’s smoky like smoked bacon and sweet like maple). If you’re interested in interesting, you might want to start here.

NINE

Hefeweizen (Traditional Wheat Beer) – Bavarian style: Franziskaner's Naturtrub (Natural)

You can get it at most German food halls in Australia. It's one of those traditional beers with a huge history behind it and lots of rules (Weißbiers brewed in Germany have to be top-fermented - by law). I personally find this to have that “Many cloudy, such hops, so beer, wow” attitude going on but a big banana flavour over clove and orange peel is distracting enough to compensate. Others swear this unfiltered Bavarian brew is king of the kind.

TEN

Stout – Milk Stout: Batch Brewing’s Elsie the Milk Stout. 

Milk stouts taste like roasted biscuit, vanilla, a little like ice cream. This one is sweet, creamy, a little roasted and a little smoky. Very sorry to those who are lactose intolerant on this one, milk stout is made with it.

Here's a good note to end on to change anyone’s opinion of beer: 

Milk stout float. Oh yes.

The existence of the Milk Stout Float. 

Yes. Adding ice cream to beer. 

Did you know you could do that? Or that it would be good?

Because stouts are so rich and creamy, they make a perfect dessert.

Beer is a brilliant beast; it has always been the drink of the people and is as much for Nanas as it is for big hairy uncles. If you hate beer, it’s likely that you don’t even know that you haven’t actually tried it. You tasted something that wasn’t for you, but beer comes in so many varieties that there’s something for pretty much everyone. It’s just a matter of finding it and leaving the rest to the bar floor. Don’t give up on it, not just yet.

Noms, Nibbles and No Regrets

-          Rebecca

Addition:

It's been brought to my attention that I've left out a beer that I had cruelly stolen from my partner's parched beer-craving lips before he'd even taken two sips. It was a Goze by Omnipollo called Bianca which is a sour mango.

A parting tip for those embarking on a beer induction journey:
If you hand your inductee a beer to taste because you think it's amazing, you may just find yourself without a beer.